Sunday, July 24, 2011

Rely on me from now on xD

Finished the cake already!! !
Chocolate mousse cake for my little cousin's 21st bday!
I m sure the cake will be nice!
N i hope it will be enough for them!~
Me and my sis did put in a lot of effort to bake the cake,
tried over and over again,
failed over and over again too!
Was working today,
cant bake the cake with her in the morning,
and was disappointed to find out that
she failed 3 cakes lagi when i was away....
then we try to work together and change to another recipe,
which is the rich creamy Chocolate Mousse Cake!
Tomoro only we r going to decorate it...
We found a design and was eager to try it!
She was too tired already.
i think she feels down seeing all the failures.
in the end we still work everything out perfectly!
Promised my cousin that we will not disappoint her,
and there is still more to come for tomoro!

Yesterday went to the cell group, which I have been absent for quite some time,
discussed on the Corinthian's 1,
and instantly relate it to something happened recently;
I was regret for sth i have done to my mum.
I did not speak to her for few days,
bcoz she asked me to go eat shit and said that i m useless people,
i was shocked and angry coz i dun understand why she have to scold me with cruel words,
when what i did was,
i did something she order me to do 30 minutes late,
(asking me find my sis at house next door and bring her phone back)
so after 3 days,
she came to me and say me again.
and i suddenly burst out what i keep for 3 days (perhaps longer than that, childhood unhappy memories)
i said she is unfair to everyone, she got prejudice against me, and bla bla bla...
i feel stupid,
when she told me that she cant even rmb that she scold "that" to me.
(that= aske me go eat shit)
i also ask her to tel me wat is my weakness that she dislike,
she told me that i seldom spend time with family,
she cant feel my existence in the home,
and thus she ignores me.
after she left the room i was terribly upset,
i did not feel any better,
i see that she is also upset for my misunderstanding towards her,
and i was really inconsiderate to have taken the words so seriously,
she was just too stressed after working for a whole day,
i feel sorry and i wanted to do sth to improve our relationship.
Yes, I have been spending lots of time outside,
how long we did not spend time to communicate with each other?
its just the matter of whether u r willing to take the initiative to approach ppl or not...
the next day after i finished my lecture,
instead of heading straight to my bedroom,
i went to her "office" after i parked my car.
"ma, i m back."
then i sit there and online using her phone,
she work and talk occasionally with me,
although she is lecturing me i dun feel annoyed at all,
reversely i feel happy and contented,
we stayed there until almost midnight and we went back together.
that is what called regret for good ba?
at first i feel regret for saying those to her,
regret for upsetting her,
but the communication between us,
makes me understand what she wants from me,
and i also expressed my feelings to her,
we accepted it and try to change,
i think i should spend more time with her so that she will be happier,

last few days she cried,
because she missed my bro badly.
i laughed at her and showed disbelief,
but she really admit to me,
last year when my bro just left,
the situation is even worse,
she can cry everyday just bcoz of miss him!
now reduced the frequency dy.

i seriously need to take over my bro's role or show more care towards my family needs...
how long have i been absent?
was in my own world for quite long dy,
come out walk walk ba~
now i wan to borrow my shoulder to people around me~
today is a good day!
tomoro will be a good day too!


eeling^^ said...


shirley said...